Friday, March 14, 2014

Not There Yet

I can't believe it has been five months since I last updated. I knew I would get bogged down between work, classes, travel, and the holidays, but little did I know Life would throw more at me. Well, actually, us.

Through most of December and January, either me or the husband were ill. At one point, we were both sick. In addition to all of this, there was a death in the family and more travel. There were very few chances for us to "tempt fate", as he puts it. Then there were some surprising medical diagnoses for him that were a setback (nothing sterility inducing, just libido killing, as a side effect). Just as he is getting back up to par, I get so buried in work, I am literally staying up until 3AM or pulling all-nighters to meet deadlines...multiple days of the week. Over stressed would be an understatement.

It is because of this that I did not realize my period was late until I was almost three weeks late. I was due, at the latest, around Valentine's day. I realized I had seen nothing, no sign, no PMS symptom, around March 5th. Here we are, March 14th, officially FOUR weeks late, and almost NINE weeks since the start of my last period. It has been exactly THREE weeks since my husband and I had sex (and weeks upon weeks for the time before that).

I chalk the first missed period up to stress and/or a cyst. How can I not? But now, at four weeks late, the end of when I should have my second period, do I still consider the lack of Mother Nature's presence stress?

This week, I have had PMS issues, like the bloating, cramping, headaches, back pain, busting over my bra, acne, and utter exhaustion. But I have also had a lovely combination of constipation and ditzy-forgetfulness. And the constant bathroom breaks. Can I claim all of these as cyst-related symptoms? Of course. Do I dare to hope pregnant? Not really. Every stick I have peed on, including one this morning, has come up negative.

** I should also insert, at some point, the fact that my libido has been pounding strong this entire time. Even this past week, as miserable as I feel at times, I still want sex (in any form) to happen. **

I have set an appointment with my gynecologist/specialist for Tuesday next week. Per her orders, if I miss two periods with negative home pregnancy tests, I need to make an appointment to see her. I just hope she tells me "not a cyst, just stress!" I would be absolutely elated at that.

And, I know, she will be happy to hear that I am in the process of (as of this Monday), weaning off of my blood pressure medication (with my cardiologist's consent). Now to get de-stressed and lose some more weight...!

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